top of page

3 takeaways from my conversation with Barbara Karnes

Navigating the final chapter of life can be an emotional and daunting process. But with an increased understanding of the dying process and utilization of hospice care, it can become a journey of meaningful closure and peaceful transition. This matters significantly as it enables us to honor our loved ones' final wishes and helps us cope with our loss. Having these conversations and plans in place alleviates stress, provides comfort, and ensures that the end-of-life journey honors the individual's values and wishes. 

My recent guest on the Peaceful Exit podcastBarbara Karnes, RN, is a true pioneer in the hospice movement in the United States. With over 35 years of experience in the field, Barbara has dedicated her life to educating and empowering individuals and families during the dying process. Her groundbreaking book, Gone from My Sight, has become a staple in the hospice community, providing clear and compassionate guidance on what to expect when a loved one is dying. Barbara's unique perspective comes from working outside the traditional medical establishment, allowing her to truly see the dying process as a social and communal event, rather than just a medical one. Her passion for end-of-life education and support has touched countless lives and continues to make a profound impact on the way we approach death and dying. 

The journey that led Barbara to become an author and expert in end-of-life care is truly intriguing, including a switch from interior decorating. She is driven by her passion for hospice care and the death experience. She approaches this challenging subject with a refreshing commitment to educate and inspire better understanding about death and the roles within hospice care. She incorporates professional insight and empathic understandings by considering the social and communal impacts that often accompany the journey of life's final chapter. 

During our conversation, Barbara shared detailed insights on her little blue book, Gone from My Sight. It was crafted in the selfless spirit of providing an easy-to-understand guide to help families navigate through the death process armed with knowledge about what is normal. Barbara beautifully conceptualized this tool during her time as a hospice nurse, noticing a real need amongst members of a patient's family searching for what to expect as caregivers of a dying loved one. The pamphlet was born from an early morning call from a daughter who was confused about her mother’s health. Barbara realized there was a critical void that needed filling. 

Here are three ways to open the conversation with your loved ones: 

1. Understanding Hospice Care: More than a Death Sentence Hospice care, often misunderstood, goes beyond providing comfort to the dying—it is about enabling them to live their best lives in their remaining time. Although it gets associated with the sorrow of impending death, it's crucial not to overlook its intention. Hospice is meant to make the end stages of life as meaningful and fulfilling as possible. It's an affirmation of life and its natural progression, acknowledging that while death is inevitable, suffering is not. 

As a model, it centers around compassionate care, maintaining dignity, and honoring the individual's wishes in their last moments. Barbara provided an intimate glimpse into hospice care during our talk. Highlighting that, in essence, every person's journey to the end of life is unique, and hence hospice care respects and accommodates this individuality. It isn't bound by the cold, clinical routines of regular hospital settings, but focuses more on providing personalized care that emphasizes dignity and comfort. Think of it as a woven tapestry of services that intertwines the medical, psychological, and spiritual aspects of an individual's care during their last chapter. So, it's no surprise that a hospice care unit typically consists of a multidisciplinary team of healthcare professionals, including chaplains, social workers, nurses, and therapists who work hand in hand to assure the best quality of life for the person they serve. 

2. The Role of Social Workers in Hospice Care Social workers play an integral role in hospice care, often serving as an essential point of contact for patients and their families. They listen, empathize, and provide much-needed emotional support to patients in their final days. They help families navigate the difficult emotional landscape of end-of-life care, assist with complex logistics, and often function as a bridge between the medical team and the family. The importance of this role in hospice care cannot be understated – social workers act as a compassionate buffer, mediating between stark medical facts and the raw emotions that accompany the end-of-life journey. 

They have a unique ability to recognize and address the social and emotional aspects of dying, which are often overlooked in the medical model of care. Reflecting upon my conversation with Barbara, it was clear how deeply she valued the work of social workers within the hospice framework. Barbara shared how these multi-faceted professionals helped create a holistic end-of-life experience – attending not just to patients' physical needs, but to their psychological and spiritual needs as well. Social workers in hospice care listen, they comfort, and often, they help guide patients through a process of life reflection and reconciliation. They enable patients to find closure, peace, and a sense of meaning in their final days. I distinctly recall Barbara noting their unique skill of 'listening to understand' and the manner in which it brought solace and comfort to those grappling with the reality of their mortality. The role of social workers in hospice care underscores the importance of considering death not just from a medical lens, but from a human one. Death is more than just a physical process; it's a deeply personal, emotional, and, often, a social event. 

3. The Importance of End-of-Life Education in Society In today's world, the complexity of death and dying is often underscored with a mixture of fear and ignorance. Death is inevitable, yet it is one of the least understood and least discussed realities of life. The lack of end-of-life education for individuals and their families often leaves them ill-prepared for the complexities of the dying process. They often find themselves caught up in a whirlwind of emotional distress and decision-making pressure at the most critical time. With education, the gaps in understanding can be filled with knowledge about the dying process, opening a much-needed dialogue about this natural and inevitable part of life. 

During my conversation with Barbara, her insights shone some much-needed light on the subject. She firmly believes in the importance of demystifying the dying process. The purpose of her educational pamphlet, Gone from My Sight is to break down the dying process into easy-to-understand information for those who find themselves caring for someone. This understanding of the end-of-life process is vital for all of us. It gives us the ability to empathize, to support and to provide adequate care for those nearing the end of their life journey. A deep dive into the world of hospice care reveals some heartening truths. Contrary to some misconceptions, “hospice” doesn't signify the end, but rather guides us to live our remaining days with dignity and quality. The role of social workers is integral to this process, providing emotional and practical support to both patients and families. Resources like Barbara’s pamphlet, Gone from My Sight, aid in breaking down the process of dying into simple terms, offering comfort and understanding. Beyond death, hospice caregivers offer essential bereavement services to support grieving families. 


bottom of page